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Promises of balancing the budget grow bleak
 
Frank Cotolo
21 Oct 2008
 
Democrat Barack Obama's and Republican John McCain's financial advisers are at odds about a balance-the-budget plan. The current financial crisis has changed their previous plans to balance the budget in either's first term, according to their advisers.
 
"It's a matter of money," said one of McCain's advisors. "We thought there would be more money in the mix and we could balance a budget. Now we see there is a problem with money."
 
An Obama advisor said, "We still think we may be able to balance the budget but then again, we don't know about doing it in our first term. In fact, we don't know about doing it in our second term and we are now thinking that perhaps we need a Constitutional amendment to allow a third term where we think we can do it."
 
The McCain advisors retorted, "Third term? No way. We are still hesitant about a second term just on our candidate's age."
 
"The events of the past few months have completely thrown a wrench into all plans," said financial expert Lloyd Lips of Grapenstake University.
 
"There's no way the budget can be balanced until 2222, tops. Maybe 2221 or 2220, but never 2013."
 
The current U.S. deficit is $500 billion and experts say McCain's tax plan alone would almost double the deficit and Obama's policies on taxes, health insurance and jobs would pretty much allow China, one of the U.S.'s major lenders, to own at least three major U.S. cities by 2013.
 
The credit crisis and fears of a looming recession raise questions about which promises the candidates can keep if elected. Economists point to McCain's tax cuts and Obama's health care reforms and weep.
 
"I saw top financial aide Biff Random crying the other day," said a McCain insider. "He was thinking about all of this."
 
An Obama aide said the entire Obama financial crew was so stressed about this that they chose up teams and went to the countryside to play paintball. And they haven't been heard from since.
   
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