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McCain says no to defeat, has gas
 
Frank Cotolo
28 Oct 2008
 
John McCain won't give up. His aides and supporters and he continue to remind everyone that before the New Hampshire primary early this year everyone had counted out McCain for the nomination and his victory there was quite an upset. Insiders say he is so confident in the face of an Obama sweep that he may not even give up after all the electoral votes are counted.
 
At a campaign stop yesterday, McCain pounded the message that he could still win and his aides agreed.
 
"A lot can happen," said an aide, "and it has too. But a lot has happened before to make surprises like this happen. We know it takes a lot, a lot that no one can see before it happens but when a lot happens and it happens in favor of us, then it will be a surprise to even us, as well as everyone."
 
McCain, an insider said, "refused to do anything but smile all day yesterday. But we know he was worried behind the happy face because he had terrible gas on the plane."
 
"We all sensed it."
 
The Inevitable Beano Answer
 
McCain said to a reporter on his plane that even the final count of votes might not discourage him from feeling he could still win. Then, that reporter quickly left McCain's side to jolt for the bathroom, sensing the candidate's gas.
 
"Mr Obama has had gas during this campaign, too," said an Obama aide on Obama's plane. "But no one traveling with us ever complained. Maybe Mr McCain's gas is released silently and everyone becomes surprised when they sense it. But I do know that Mr Obama's gas is released, shall we say, soundly. It goes to show you how expressive Obama can be in every way. It is time for a change."
 
"It's only common," said a McCain aide, "for stomachs to become upset during this tense time, with only a hundred or so hours left until the voting begins."
 
An insider source for the defunct Hillary Clinton campaign commented that Hillary rarely passed noticeable gas while campaigning. He said he always thought she was re-channeling it into policy.
   
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