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September 2011
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Political Bumper Stickers: Be Kind To Your Vehicle's Backside
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Paul A. Ibbetson
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Bumper stickers - we see them every day in almost every form. Sit for a few minutes at a stop
light and you literally see almost every form of human expression slapped across the chrome, and
more often plastic bumpers of the vehicles of this nation. The political season is without a doubt
a bumper sticker bonanza for the dealers of these sticky examples of free speech. There is almost
an endless variety of quips, jabs and simply political low blows that can be affixed conveniently
to the backside of your conveyance for other drivers to view in the wake of daily travels. With
such awesome sticker possibilities, the question is whether or not we should reflect on the
responsibility that comes with politicizing our street-bound chariots.
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Like the division between the tattooed and the non-tattooed, car owners have customarily broken up
into separate camps of those that believe that their car’s body should remain wholly "clean" and
those that have the inclination towards "illustration". Common aversions to bumper stickers range
from concerns over loss of paint during removal to the notion that stickers simply take away from
the vehicle's original beauty. Despite these arguments, many of the most loyal non-bumper-sticker
advocates will break their own non-bumper-sticker pledges during this political season and add
support for their personal candidate by way of the rump of their righteous ride. I would speak to
all those across this spectrum with a few political protocol suggestions for the 2012 presidential
race in the name of bumper sticker sanity.
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First, remove all past Election Day stickers. Nothing says "denial" more than an old, crinkled,
half-biodegraded "John Kerry 2004" bumper sticker. We have all seen the equivalent before, even
on the most beautiful of vehicles, and we have all done the same thing: grunt with displeasure,
shake our heads in sadness and die a little inside. Remember, you may be in a wreck while on
the road, and removing an ancient, long-dead political sticker might help you avoid unnecessary
dementia testing while at the hospital. The potential upsides are just too many to ignore.
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Click here for the rest of the article.
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