Niki Helfer
Hope is with the Times
Change, in the long run, is a good thing.
Nicole Helfer
19 July, 2007

Ask yourself: Is change good?

We grow apart from our parents trying to make a living for ourselves, right? Do drugs and alcohol affect the growth of us as an individual? Do we need change in our lives to make us grow?

As we grow older, we become more mature with our surroundings and life in general for a person who has encountered so much change that could last two lifetimes, there's at least one thing I can say: I hate change! I have always wanted to jump back in time and change something, but there is no time capsule built for that yet!

Change has impacted my life in such a way, I don't even know how to deal with my life. In this life I have a lot of change and sometimes so many things change in a short period of time, it leaves me wondering where everything went.

Things that I want to change don't necessarily change but things you want to keep the same change, why? For example being in a relationship you've invested time, energy and emotions, then one day you wake up and the other person doesn't feel the same, or you had a bad fight that makes them jump to the only conclusion they know is break up. I don't get change and I don't think anyone would.

Most of the time we think change is a bad thing, and we don't know how to handle or deal with what's coming at us. But in the end the result helps us more. I think personally, change helps us be stronger and as we grow older we are more aware of what's around us. Without change, I think everyone would kind of be like robots as we don't go through struggles; living the same way everyday wouldn't make us be able to know the outcomes in life.

Being addicted to drugs at such a young age, I thought at the time made me more mature and was a good coping mechanism. For years I depended on certain things to get me away from how I feel and not dealing with life. When I became sober, I had a hard time dealing with my feelings, dealing with change.

Being on drugs you had a steady routine I was concentrated on getting high, where I was going to do it, who I was with. Those were the things I dealt with; when something happened in my life, the answer was getting high.

In a lot of ways I was scared of being sober, I was scared that it would make me a different person, and the people that I chilled with wouldn't be my friend. I honestly didn't see me ever being sober. But one day came where I couldn't do that anymore, I was starting to feel gross about myself. I ended up losing all my friends and my relationship with certain people changed because they never saw me for who I was, just the person they got high with. I think this was a big change in my life. But every time something bad happened I wanted to get high, I didn't know how to deal with change.

As I had more time sober I realized that being high for so many years didn't teach me anything. It may have made me mature when I was younger but as I grew older and when I was living without it, I still felt like I was sixteen. There was so much I didn't deal with that happened years ago that was now affecting me -- I didn't know how to deal (with it) and I didn't want to deal with it.

But I couldn't run away this time. Running away from problems and trying to hide from them is a wrong way to deal or cope. As days and months progressed, I learned how to cope, how to deal with things I never dealt with before. It made me feel good, and has changed me for the better. I'm a lot stronger now than I was with drugs. This change was good and I thank god for giving me the strength to get through this. Being addicted to drugs when you're going to college or even doing it when your in a profession is not good, and I've see people who have been addicted to drugs for more or less ten years, and that's the only thing they know. I didn't want to be like that!

I've been through a horrible accident and never would I say this but today: I'm glad it happened to me. I've learned so much about me.

When this happened to me I was mad at the world, I questioned every day: Why me? What did I do to deserve this? The accident was a dramatic change in my life; I never thought I was ever going to get over it. I didn't even know how to deal with myself being in the position I am. Many times I thought about giving up, but as years progressed and I saw the progression I was making, I looked on the positive side of this. It had made me a strong person and I think that this accident allowed me to accept change for what it is.

My parents have been through a lot themselves; I think we also feed off the changes in our family too. Both my parents have been divorced a few times, and as I see them go through this it makes me question things about myself. One of my parents is going through a bad divorce right now; they were cheated on and so on. I never really looked at cheating how I should have.

I would break up with a boyfriend or something, but would always go on to the next boyfriend soon after. I've cheated on my boyfriends; I know I wasn't married, but I never really saw how much cheating affects someone.

Until I saw my parents go through this. This affected me in a way I never thought possible. I personally feel that this was the best change for myself because I really care about how the other person feels. I don't think anyone likes to get cheated on, but I don't think that if this didn't happen to someone I really care about I would have never really got the point.

Change in the long run is a good thing; there is a reason for everything.

As much as when it happens we think the worst, you must look at the light at the end of the tunnel. Change teaches us about ourselves, makes us think well what can I do next time to make this not happened. It challenges us in everyday life.

We do need change in our life, and as we grow older we change. Our mindset isn't the same as when we were twelve or eighteen.

Nicole Helfer is a columnist for 148.ca, bringing a sobering look at how we cope with the times.
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