People with two feet can
still hop on one, but when a foot has to work alone it is pressed to compensate
for the missing partner and, of course, an entire shoe is wasted because no
store sells less than a pair of shoes (a politcally incorrect policy that I
hope will be legislated away soon). One or two, the foot helps us stand, run,
skip, dance, climb, kick, crawl and more. Without them, people have been known
to be less active.
In 1829 or earlier, a young podiatrist named Mortimer Stalkmight calculated
that most people have walked over 75,345 miles on their feet by the time they
are 50, not counting steps taken to improve their lives.
Grandeur of The Foot
In 1845, Donald Situation, a poet, coined the phrase, "Put your best foot
forward." That not only placed the foot in a metaphoric situation, it sparked
a controversy about which foot was the best.
Mr. Situation never suggested an
opinion on the subject or any other before he died five years later after
losing a bet to a sailor that a punch to the groin would not hurt him.
But I digress; I am not here to write the history of the foot. I am here to make
you realize the importance of the foot, the grandeur of the object. To help you
appreciate them so you can care for them and tend to them and to be proud to
show them to friend and foe.
Perhaps I have done that, even though this essay is falling apart rapidly,
losing its direction, its focus and function. If nothing else, I am sure that
if you have read this far you are now more aware of your feet than you were
before you began to read this. Have you taken your shoes off and given your
feet a close inspection? Have you wondered at the toes and how they wiggle and
twitch? Have you any idea why people become sexually aroused by feet? If so,
then I have accomplished all I need to right now.
Time for a walk.
Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme
Cotolo
Chronicles, every Thursday starting at 9 pm on Network 1KX.
