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Frank Cotolo
8 Dec, 2008 |
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Winter. It brings the
zest of the cold, the white blankets on the rolling hills, the rosy cheeks
of children on sleighs and to some, morbid fits of depression. That's right,
while the brisk winds of winter make some of us jump and play, they can
also bring the early nights and an almost irresistible urge to see how
long we can keep our heads next to a chicken roasting in the
oven. |
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Today, this malaise
has a name: Seasonal Affective Disorder or, SAD. It used to be called Cabin
Fever, until it was discovered that people who lived in condominiums also
got it. |
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Also, someone
discovered a condition where people became depressed
solely by using too much of a certain brand maple syrup: Log Cabin Disorder
or, LCD. |
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People with SAD
experience a strong dismal reaction to the short days, long nights and
presence of animated snowmen. These winter blues strike one in every
fifteen people at last count (another count is taking place even as I
write this). Becoming unusually depressed - more so, that is, than the
feeling one experiences when discovering Ellen DeGeneres is doing another
TV special - is a symptom of SAD. Along with the dread and the morose
change in the space between the toes, SAD can ruin intimate relationships
and damage your pajamas. |
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Seasonal Affective
Disorder can ruin
intimate relationships and damage your pajamas. |
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And just when you think that all one has to do to rid oneself of SAD's
hazardous effects is wait out the season, another quack comes along and
tells you that SAD can also develop during the summer.
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However, since a
summer symptom of SAD
is an increased sex drive, it is safe to say that the winter version
can be more annoying. |
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Now that SAD has
been identified, I understand the behaviors of many relatives over the
decades. For one, there was my Uncle Vern. Every winter this usually
jolly man turned into a sour, angry soul who went berserk when night fell
around five p.m. and the ice cream truck still had not arrived. |
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Also, my Aunt
Vivian, a pleasant, clean lady, changed radically the day after Daylight
Savings Time began. Ordinarily a well-spoken woman, she would begin to talk
like Bela Lugosi and shy from any hint of garlic. It was behavior made
worse since her husband, Cliff, went through his own depressing
metamorphosis, carrying around a briefcase of wooden spikes and demanding
to be addressed as Van Cliffsing. |
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So think about how
you are behaving when the weather changes and the nights grow longer: are
you feeling all right or do you tend to raise your voice and sound like
Joe Cocker when anyone asks you to parallel park? |
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Frank
Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme
Cotolo
Chronicles. |
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