| Obama launches bid with Biden |
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Frank Cotolo
March 18, 2012 |
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President Obama has officially begun his bid for re-election, taking along Vice President Biden
for the shot at a second term.
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A spokesman for Biden said, "We always knew the president would keep Joe on the ticket, at least
as soon as we became convinced that Hillary was not available."
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The Obama-Biden team hit the road on the St. Patrick's Day weekend, focusing on battleground states
like Ohio. Biden is the "attack dog" set loose to start the harangue.
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"I had no idea there were battles in Ohio," said Biden on a pit stop in Columbus. "I thought the
Civil War stopped at Gettysburg but you know, there was that northern thing with the French and
Indians that may have leaked into the Midwest. Sorry, gotta go."
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Biden was bent on charging the remaining trio of Republican candidates with lack of visionary
prowess in his speeches through Ohio.
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"Since we don't know which of them will be the candidate," said an Obama source, "we are going to
use all of their names before their convention sorts anything out."
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When asked if the Obama team feels Romney will get the nomination, the source said, "Who?"
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Biden's words were biting.
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"A job is about a lot more than a paycheck," he said, "it's about your dignity, respect, your place
in the community and not having to look into the face of a guy like Gingrich who could scare the
Bermuda shorts off of a cruise ship tourist.
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"As for Santorum, he will be campaigning in Illinois in a stove-top hat. Not because Lincoln was
known to wear one but because he thinks it is still in style.
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"Romney is a fine fellow but he is made of Knotty Pine, which is a lightweight wood, characterized
by a straight grain and a fine, even texture. The knots tend to be small and tight, giving the wood
a rustic look. Though Knotty Pine is dimensionally stable and durable, it doesn't blend with the
more workable woods."
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"Biden got on the ticket last time because he appeals to the working class," said political analyst
Scorby Buckhaven, "and he has a remarkable knowledge of wood, which always works with political
metaphors."
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President Obama campaign officials say that Biden will be essential throughout the campaign. One
source told us Biden is looking beyond this election, also.
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"He wants to run for the top office coming right off the vice-presidency," said the source. "He
said that he feels like black walnut, a rare wood type, and although he will be older, like black
walnut, containing burls, butts and curls, he could take the Democrats into unprecedented third and
fourth terms of control."
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Frank Cotolo can be found
hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles.
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