| Romney scores, Obama snores |
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Frank Cotolo
October 5, 2012 |
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After the first Presidential Debate of 2012, President Obama reportedly went back to sleep, while
candidate Mitt Romney hosted a campaign party featuring free ginger ale and pretzels for his
supporters.
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The day after the debate, editors at the Guinness Book of World Records are searching to find the
single person of the 60-some-odd witnesses of the event who does not think Romney won.
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Forceful, armed with many selling points and the semblance of a plan to get the American economy
thriving again, Romney disagreed with everything the President said, much of which disagreed with
a lot Romney himself said during the last eight months of campaigning.
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But Romney's performance came off as positive, encouraging and confident, reaching millions of
people who admittedly don't know his first name is Willard.
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The President's performance shocked insiders, supporters, left-wingers, liberal reactionaries and
five African Americans living in a ghetto just outside of The Bronx.
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"Why didn't Obama point his finger at Romney and say, even gently, you are a remarkable lying son
of a rich guy?" said one supporter.
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"The President wasn't engaging in the debate," said another Obama supporter. "He looked like
Muhammad Ali in the ring after a bad night's sleep, although Obama is way thinner than Ali."
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The President's camp explained the performance as the leader of the free world talking to adults
but clearly the public wanted to see a President using spitfire words and at least a louder voice
and some hand gestures to combat Romney.
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"The Obama I voted for," said a 2008 Obama supporter, "was jazzed and riddled with spark. He was a
guy who had a cape that waved as he flew into the political realm and only smiled when the vision
of a villain was extinguished."
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Meanwhile, liberals were admitting that Romney won the debate and rekindled his campaign, making
his a true foe to the President come election day.
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"Even though ninety percent of all the African Americans, a plurality of Latinos, die-hard liberals
and most of the mainstream media will vote for re-electing the President," said a political
analysis who watched the debate on a small, coin-operated TV at an airport near Denver, "Romney can
win."
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Senator John Kerry played Romney in debate practice with the President but an insider said that
Kerry was so boring in the role that the President fell to sleep on his feet during rehearsal many
times.
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"After an hour or so we would wake the President and Kerry would come back to the White House for
ice cream," said an insider. "Then we would get on Air Force One and go to a foreign country for the
night."
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Kerry was unavailable for comment but he did say that personally.
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Meanwhile, the Romney camp is so energized that the Mormon Church quickly erected a new, $50-million
facility on the Utah border to commemorate a debate victory by the first Mormon Presidential
candidate.
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At the Romney celebration party after the debate, a bill of over a million dollars in ginger ale was
paid for out of pocket by the candidate, who was smiling all evening while autographing the inner
soles of shoes owned by Sean Hannity.
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"This is not over," said an aide for the President. "We have Romney lies from the debate recorded
and loaded into commercials that will contrast what he said at the debate to what he said the day
before that and the day before that and so on. Lord knows what he will say in the next debate."
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The buzz about Obama in debate two, which is a town-hall format, is that Kerry will not play Obama
due to the senator's commitment to play Herman Munster in a Broadway musical version of "The
Munsters." Instead, a source said, the makers of the movie "Team America" have constructed a
life-sized marionette to play Romney.
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Undecided voters were polled after the debate and more than 63 percent of them said they had changed
their opinions about Romney. Another poll showed 54 percent of them said Romney should wear the
same tie he wore at the debate when inaugurated. Another 32 percent said they thought Romney killed
Osama bin Laden with his bare hands. Another 26 percent said the female reporters on Fox TV News
were better looking than those on other cable news channels and that added to Romney's performance
in the debate could sway them to his side.
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Though new nationwide polls are still being taken, reports indicate that the sale of ginger ale has
skyrocketed since the debate in Ohio, Colorado, Virginia, Florida and New Hampshire.
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Frank Cotolo can be found
hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles.
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