| 'Bombs-away' Biden riles Ryan's messages |
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Frank Cotolo
October 13, 2012 |
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Vice President Joe Biden was full of himself and armed to the hilt with personality and passion as
the elder statesman debated Republican candidate Paul Ryan in the only Vice Presidential Debate of
this 2012 election season on Oct. 11.
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The gritty Biden looked like a professor belittling an ego-boosted student while talking about
policies that in many ways sounded alike and in other ways sounded so different that people in the
audience were allegedly tasting bile.
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Biden pounced on Ryan, who slouched in his seat like he felt inferior to the old Irish "prof," as
Ryan echoed the Romney policies, which were as lacking in detail as when Romney expressed them.
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"I thought Ryan was fabulous," said one audience member after the event. "He does, however, look as
if he has no upper teeth but that's all right because Biden's uppers are certainly false."
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"There is no way a man Biden's age has teeth that even, no less white," said another person in the
audience.
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Ryan spoke of conservative policies except for those that sounded exactly like President Obama's
policies, though Ryan added comments like, "We can do better" without explanation.
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The Romney camp is surfing on the big wave that it caught in the first Presidential Debate and Ryan
made note that Biden's aggression was an attempt to make up "lost ground" from the President's
failure.
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"That Ryan kid," said an Obama campaign strategist, "had bubble gum in his pocket. Did you know
that? He lifts weights chewing bubble gum because he is a little kid, childish and awkwardly tall.
He is not fit to be a heartbeat away from the presidency."
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A Romney spokesperson responded by saying, "At least Ryan has a strong heartbeat. Biden is old, his
hair doesn't make sense and I think he smoked out of bongs when he visited the troops at war.
I'm just saying."
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Republicans thought Ryan won the debate. Democrats thought Biden won the debate.
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Meanwhile, former candidate Rick Santorum was seen laughing at a restaurant and someone overheard
him say, "I got this think locked up in twenty sixteen."
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One self-proclaimed subjective political analyst said, "The lines are drawn in the sand between the
left and right and no one seems to be in the middle, regardless of what anyone says about undecided
voters. No one on either side wants to give the other side any slack. It's as if slack has become
extinct, as if there is this thing called 'extinct slack' and it is unable to be manufactured or
called upon as a human emotion.
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"Many people have already voted, so there is no telling what the next two debates will mean. Most
people have made up their minds and many of them don't care what any candidate says at this point.
These people, too, are lacking slack and that adds to my extinct-slack theory.
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"The Romney people feel they have momentum and many of that momentum is an entitlement. They feel
people are finally coming around to the true matters and that those true matters are, simply, the
President is a failure and only Mitt Romney can save the country from the mess the President has
made of it.
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"They truly believe that if Mitt is elected, terrorists around the world will cower and Iran will
give up trying to develop nuclear powers because of fear. It's childish.
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"But to be fair, the Democrats are trying to pump up achievements, wishing that the economic
recovery would have already happened and they have been stupid not to truly pound their chests for
any foreign-policy achievements.
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"So, all in all, with slack extinct and all of these candidates running on empty images, America
appears to be, how do you say it - screwed either way."
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Frank Cotolo can be found
hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles.
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