The unheralded heroes of the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics
The 2010 Winter Olympics have come to a close but that isn't stopping winter
from hurling a wrath of rough weather through North America. More blizzard
conditions have swept through the continent than soldiers during the French and
Indian Wars, though some are skeptical about that particular analogy.
In Vancouver, the 2010 Winter Olympics began with a lack of winter weather,
which is odd for the Pacific Northwest, where blizzard conditions have been know
to sweep through that part of the continent with the regularity of a coffee
turnover at Starbucks (no complaints yet about that analogy, which was carefully
selected since Starbucks began in the Pacific Northwest).
The 2010 Winter Olympics went on with all events, indoor and outdoor, and
amazing things happened. By now you have heard all of the accomplishments and
have applauded all the heralded heroes and heroines of the games. But I am here
to give testimony to those who performed with unequalled greatness, though they
have not and may never win a medal.
If you were watching closely, as I was watching, some losers were fantastic to
witness, though at the time no one knew they were losers. All of the competitors
were top performers in their events, even though some were embarrassed by
hundredths of seconds.
For instance, take the Alpine Skiing Final on Feb. 14. Cornelius Patronsaint was
Standovia's pride and joy, having won the 2010 Fanobala Final last summer,
breaking all non-winter skiing records. On Feb. 14, Patronsaint decided that a
large growth surfacing on his thigh was not enough to keep him from competing.
As fate would have it, the growth burst due to his tight uniform and cost him a
good four seconds in the event.
In the Biathlon, the team from Wandabbe Nation's team showed up naked. The
team's captain claimed he misunderstood when the team joined the event. He
thought it was a "Bath-a-thon", an event the quintet had won in African
competitions for six years in a row. Later, they demonstrated indoors and were
spectacular. The Olympic committee is considering creating a Bathathon [sic]
event for the summer games.
Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme