Column Chronicles
 
Dumb words in the new business world
 
 
Frank Cotolo
August 20, 2015
 
It's a whole new business world in the millennium than it was in those 1900s, when lots of businesses needed heavy equipment and hands got dirty. Still, in the high-tech business world of today, you have to beware of dumb words that can muck up business concepts for the zeroes - and ones - crowd. I will help you by telling you some of the dumb words that trigger negativity in the new business world.
 
The first word is seamless.
 
Business software product managers often say that if their CRM software runs off a cloud that it is seamless when integrated with different software. What the hell does that mean? It means that if you say that you will look stupid because no one knows what it means if you use the word seamless.
 
The second word is leverage.
 
Tech companies will often push the fact that if they start a partnership it will leverage synergies with the company thar merges with it. What the hell does that mean? It means that if you say there is leverage with merging companies you will look stupid because no one knows what that means.
 
The third word is synergy.
 
When I told you about leverage I used the word synergy. What the hell does that mean? It means that if you say that you will look stupid because no one knows what it means if you leverage a synergy.
 
The fourth word is takeaway.
 
If you are starting a company in England and use the word takeaway, people are going to think you don't want to eat in a restaurant because takeaway means taking food out. In other countries the term is "take out." In the new business world, people use takeaway as a description of the single insight their business impresses upon you. What the hell does that mean? It means that if you say that you will look stupid because eating at a restaurant is more business-friendly, especially if the people you are meeting have on suits and ties and they are in the tech business. You don't want to look stupid, so don't use the term takeaway. To be entirely safe, don't even use the word "take" or "away" in any of your sentences.
 
The final word is a proper name: Disney.
 
Whatever you do, never bring up the name Disney and certainly don't say Walt before you say it. Tech people are always turned off by the name and some very savvy tech businesspeople still believe that Walt Disney's body has been frozen and is coming back to life one day.
 
Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.
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