Column Chronicles: Laws of the land - Frank Cotolo on 148.ca

Laws of the land

Frank Cotolo
March 19, 2015

Canadians should think twice about doing weird things because it is possible that some of those weird things are against the law. All of the provinces have strange statues that may be punishable at any time any authority decides on enforcement. Of course you have to know the laws to enforce them.

Here are some strange laws Canadians should know:

• It is illegal to show public affection on Sunday.

• You may not own a log cabin.

• If you have a water trough in your front yard it must be filled by 5 a.m.

• Businesses must provide rails for tying up horses.

And here are some pending:

• No one can shop at a supermarket who doesn't know the alphabet past the letter N.

• Any owner of a poodle must not smile condescendingly while walking it.

• Canadians must laugh when exchanging colorful Canadian paper money for dull U.S. paper currency.

• Rowing a boat without registered oars is illegal.

• Propeller hats may not be worn in a thunderstorm.

• It is illegal to lie down and fall to sleep in a bakery.

• You cannot text while having oral surgery.

• It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a canoe with her boss.

• You cannot take any photograph of a clown on the second Tuesday of a month without a permit.

• Digital conversations must be within the boundaries of the allotted territories agreed upon by the participants only if they are separated by a distance not shorter than the circumference of their home state divided by the square kilometres of the parties involved.

• Any caught using soap on their person while holding a mirror in public will suffer a fine not greater than a percentage of their salary.

• No one may own two dogs that look alike.

Get in touch with your local lawmaker if you do not want to see any of the pending laws passed.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.