Column Chronicles: The mailbag - Frank Cotolo on 148.ca

The mailbag

Frank Cotolo
March 26, 2015

Cotolo Chronicles receives a lot of mail and messages every week. I try to answer them all but it is impossible to do that and in some cases it is unnecessary to respond. I feel you will know what I mean when I dip into the mailbag at random and present to you some notes and thoughts from listeners and readers of my blogs and books.

Dear Mr. Cotolo,
I try to listen to your show live each week but it is on at such a strange time for me to listen to your show each week, no less one week. I work nights and there is this sign on the wall at my factory (I am a factory worker) that says we cannot listen to Frank Cotolo while working because it will upset us. - B.B.

Dear Frank,
Calling you Frank in a letter makes me feel like I know you and I feel like I know you when I listen to you on SRN One because you sound like you are talking to me. Do you know me? If so, please forget that time I went into my hall closet and played with my electric toothbrush. - T.D.

Dear Cotolo,
Once I listened to you for a few minutes and it so outraged me that I got into my Jeep and drove through my kitchen door. I think you should pay for the repairs. - E.B.

Dear Frank,
I have enclosed a photo of me in a canoe during a summer trip to Manitoba. You will notice that I used Photoshop to replace my face with your face. Great, right? - W.D.

Dear Mr. Cotolo,
How do I express the feelings I feel when you talk about something emotionally moving on your radio show? How about ------ you, bastard! Does that work for ya? - I.S.

Dear Frank,
I liked your show about automobiles that only drive in reverse and that other show you did where your guest talked about sliding live worms down your back using olive oil. No other talk show deals with such things. My wife hates you but I listen anyway because I hate her. - P.P.

Dear F.C.,
I cannot believe I wasted a stamp to send you this. Plus I wasted ink on my printer to print it out and electricity to use my computer and now I am thinking about throwing the letter out but I have to say something now that this letter has become an expense. I don't listen to your radio show but I bought your books and I wish you would write more books, enough for me TO HOLD A BOOK-BURNING PARTY IN MY BACKYARD AND WATCH THEM ALL TURN TO ASHES. So there. - D.G.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.