Column Chronicles
 
Amazing odds
 
 
Frank Cotolo
August 4, 2016
 
People shy away from situations that may be injure or kill them. Although this is a good policy, most people are unaware that many situations that can injure or kill people do not happen so often.
 
As a public service, we are offering a list of situations that may injure or kill people, along with the odds of those situations happening to any one person.
 
Incident/odds
 
Motor vehicle accident if you are the driver/ 112-1
 
Motor vehicle accident if you are a passenger/ 470-1
 
Motor-vehicle accident if you are eating while driving and listening to music recorded before the 1970s with headphones/ 23,970-1
 
Assault by firearm/ 358-1
 
Assault by firearm from a person wearing a Richard Nixon mask/ 24,654-1
 
Assault by a firearm from someone whose arm is on fire/ 124,757,009-1
 
Fall on and from stairs and steps/ 1,884-1
 
Fall on and from stairs and steps if standing in front of a person with a firearm/ 47,005-1
 
Accidental discharge of a loaded firearm/ 6.699-1
 
Accidental discharge of a loaded firearm if the gun handler is wearing a bow tie/ 945,087-1
 
Struck by lightning/ 164,968-1
 
Struck by lightning while indoors, wearing a clown suit and learning to juggle from the book "Juggling for Dummies"/ 935,656,222-1
 
Bitten by a dog/ 116,448-1
 
Bitten by a dog while juggling/ 901,345,677-1
 
Fall from from a ladder/ 8,514-1
 
Fall from a ladder into the open jaws of a Great White Shark/ 475,456,845,888,366,174,187-1
 
Being knifed to death in the shower of a motel by the motel owner while he is dressed like his mother/ 342, 756, 265, 774, 236, 234, 653, 538, 264, 878, 873, 245, 888, 234, 599, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999-1
 
Getting married - 2-1
 
Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.
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