Column Chronicles
 
The horoscope confliction
 
 
Frank Cotolo
May 19, 2016
 
Astrology is not dependable.
 
I would love to believe that my horoscope included advice that I could use to make my days less pressure-filled and at the least gave me a reason to want to make it through any particular day with an edge over humanity.
 
However, my recent studies into horoscopes reveal that on a single day there is no similarity in any of the many forecasts for my sign. For example, here are three different published horoscopes for April 23 of last year.
 
- You could feel out of step today when all of your co-workers wearing plaid vests get raises. Putting this in perspective will call on your greatest strength, which, if you remember yesterday's horoscope, you have yet to discover. Stay at home tonight and work on making better paper airplanes.
 
- There's a cloud of doubt surrounding your co-workers, which turns to fear when you find a piece of paper signed by all of them swearing that the will try to give you a nervous breakdown. You need to find the strength to battle each of them separately and still be able to leave at 5 p.m. Go out dancing tonight but steer clear of doing the Cha-Cha.
 
I had a personal reading done for another day, this one in June, by a specialist, a man who writes specific horoscope charts for people. I figured if my horoscope had more personal details it would present custom advice.
 
The man read all of my personal information and said, "I wouldn't go home by taxi tonight because it is not a good time to put your life into the hands of another person." He said my Moon was in Virgo and that meant I might become very lucky.
 
For that same day in June there was a horoscope magazine that reported the same day could result in a struggle with a group of circus clowns filled with rage and that I would lose a sense of security if I did not confront them or at the very least tell them what I was going to have for dinner. Plus, it read, "Be spontaneous to a fault."
 
I talked to a friend of mine who doesn't do a thing each day until he reads his horoscope. I asked him if he ever saw conflicting forecasts. "Sure," he said, "it's a good thing to get different opinions from people who read the stars. You can choose to believe the one you like best and it helps you get through the day with courage and self assurance."
 
I decided never to be his friend again and then I stopped looking at my horoscopes. There are too many contradictions in how astrologers interpret the power of the planets in relation to when, where and what time a person was born.
 
Astrology is not dependable.
 
Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.
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