Column Chronicles: Hollywood reboots and resumes, part one

Hollywood reboots and resumes, part one

Frank Cotolo
May 26, 2016

Hollywood is in trouble again. There are few fresh ideas around, so the powers-that-be is preparing to reboot and resume movies. That is, there are plans to start old franchises up again and pick up with new chapters for franchises that stopped.

So here come more sequels, prequels and remakes, bringing back familiar heroes and villains to older audiences and introducing them to a whole new audience.

We are fortunate enough to have seen some private information on pending projects. Though we have been told not to publish what we saw, we are going to publish what we saw in those private files. I mean what the hell.

Green Lantern: This Time It's Good is the working title to reboot the flop, Green Lantern. Ryan Reynolds will not return as the Emerald Emissary, which is a phrase that may become the actual title of the movie once the powers-that-be read this article. The script has something to do with intergalactic intercourse. Mentioned for the title role has been Nick Cage, who many feel is now a has-been.

Harry Potter's Family. Bringing back Harry in an original script (there are no more books), the story centers around his life after he is married and has three kids names Tom, Dick and Harry, Jr. Notes on the early draft read: "All we need is a story that works with the conflict that none of the kids inherited their father's wizardry and one of them is transgender.

Closer Encounters Of The Third Kind: The Fourth Kind follows the people who went on the spaceship at the end of the first movie. The draft notes read: "They think they are going to a paradise planet but what they find is a world crippled with economic distress, downtrodden cities and too many clothing stores.

Alien will get a reboot, starting the four-part series with a new cast. The early draft notes indicate that the crew does not die from the invader in the spaceship. "To assure that we can continue the series," the draft notes read, "the conflict will center around the crew training the monster to be more human, as well as teaching it to cook complex salads."

X-Men: Mutant Lives Count tells the tale of prejudice and cruelty toward the super-human freaks who have now multiplied and outnumber villains so greatly that there is little to no work for them. Normal people turn on the mutants when U.S. tax dollars are used for federal programs to assist them.

American Godzilla will be set in the U.S.A. The beast emerges from the Pacific Ocean and comes to shore near the Mexican-U.S. border. "American Godzilla will run into American Rodan and the two will fight along the border coast," says a source. "That's all we have now but the story will develop if we can get a good cast to support our lead stars Betty White and Ed Asner.

...to be continued.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.