Column Chronicles: Onions unlimited - Frank Cotolo on 148.ca

Onions unlimited

Frank Cotolo
September 8, 2016

It is one of the most versatile vegetables on our planet and certainly underestimated as a multi-functional one. The onion, an element to more recipes than there are ripped sweaters in Ireland, has even more uses than you think. Aside from being extremely healthy, you can use these cheap bulbs of pungent odor in the following ways.

If you have rusted utensils - and who doesn't have rusted utensils - you don't have to throw them away or give them to the homeless. If you stick a tarnished knife through an onion and rub the juice on a utensil, you can rid it the utensil of rust. Rub hard.

You can also boil and onion for a few hours and then use that water to polish metal. That includes the metal on your automobile and the coins in your collection or your old Erector Set and electric trains that have turned wicked colors and feel rough. Do not use this process on any item that is plugged into an electric socket.

Though onions are notorious for the odor they leave, they also absorb odors. So, if you have just painted a room and the smell of the paint is strong and making you dizzy or you left a fish out too long on your counter and it is presenting a stench that makes you heave or if you have burned food while cooking or it caught fire some other way and smoke accompanies the burning smell, cut in half as many onions as possible and put them around the room with the odor problem.

The onions will absorb the odors in no time, well, some time. You will notice the change. Don't leave the onions laying around in the room and for goodness sake don't use them to cook in any recipe. As well, don't let your dog get near them because a good onion can kill a domestic animal on its own; an onion that has absorbed a putrid odor may make a dog violent before dropping dead.

Speaking of pets that are alive and healthy, if they are doing their businesses indoors, the smell of an onion will have them seeking other spots. If this is a chronic problem with your pets, see a vet to examine the dog for possible illness. Of course I don't mean a military veteran, I mean a doctor of animals. By the way, don't leave the onion on the spot where the pet has relieved itself for fear it is eaten by the pet because a good onion can kill a domestic animal on its own; an onion that has absorbed a putrid odor may make a domestic animal violent before dropping dead.

Finally, if you are stung by a bee and are not allergic to the poison, cut an onion and rub it directly on the sting area. If you leave the onion there, the sting will feel better and heal quicker than a pair of shoes become wet in the Amazon. After the sting area feels all right, do not use the onion for cooking because an onion that has touched the poison of an insect may make a person violent and cause considerable damage to furniture.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.