Column Chronicles: Celebrities' last words

Celebrities' last words

Frank Cotolo
March 31, 2016

Unknown to many and not cared about by even more are the last words of celebrities from all fields. A few people who have obsessed with this strange fact in personalities have spent the better part of their lives verifying the last words of famous people. Their work could result in a fascinating book or a few volumes of books.

To spark some interest in this topic, we have been allowed to publish some of the last words that will be in the fascinating book or a few volumes of books.

Bronislaw Malinowski, anthropologist: "Now I give my flesh to nature but I sure wish I had done so ten, maybe twenty years later than today."

Johannes Kepler, scientist: "I am sorry that I take this beard with me."

Gianluca Ginoble, baritone singer: "Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom..."

George Stephenson, electronic engineer: "Can I have one more pillow under my head before I leave my mortal shell?"

Ann Dunham, anthropologist: "It's true. After a while it's just good to see something new."

Nicola Tesla, scientist: "I should have been an actor, my great looks were wasted."

Ripley Scocolli, tennis professional: "Let everyone know it was not a joke naming my daughter Annette."

Edward Sapir, anthropologist: "The past is dead and now so am I."

Faith Doverspoon, actress: "Line, please."

Hargrove St. Martin, inventor: "I would have built a better mousetrap but the mice didn't get any better."

Pistol McGrath, sharpshooter: "Bang, bang, I'm dead."

Ripples the Clown, aka Snorty the Clown, aka Whiskers the Clown, aka Strangles the Clown, aka Benjamin Fortatoli, clown: "Take this frikkin' red nose off of me."

Fritz Cornblat, meteorologist: "It's getting dark... with a chance of staying dark."

Zoe Zylaphone, adult actress: "This sucks."

Pedro Gonzales, jai-alai player: "There are too many Pedro Gonzoleses, one of us has to go."

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.