Column Chronicles: This is what I mean by saying that

This is what I mean by saying that

Frank Cotolo
November 3, 2016

People have started to use certain words and phrases to mean other than what those words and phrases mean. People are doing this because they are uncomfortable using the exact words and phrases they should to express themselves. What is unusual, however, is that people explain the use of certain words and phrases they use to mean other than what those words and phrases and that is simply counter-productive.

By counter-productive, I mean stupid, but using the phrase "counter-productive" is softer and less insulting than the word "stupid".

That was the perfect example of what I mean and by perfect example I mean exactly what I mean, not something else.

This form of speech can be more lethal than using the actual words to explain a situation.

For instance, a doctor talks to a patient and says, "I have your test results and they show a disturbing form of a disease that needs immediate attention. By 'a disturbing form of a disease that needs immediate attention' I mean cancer and you should have your first of many chemo treatments today or it could be dangerous. By 'it could be dangerous' I mean you could die next week."

There is an old saying, and by old I mean it goes back to the eighteen hundreds, that suggests we should swallow bad medicine quickly as opposed to keeping it in our mouths and sustaining its gruesome taste. That saying should also go for saying things that may cause bad reactions in people listening to things other people have to say to them.

Instead of explaining what you just said, why not say what you should have said instead of explaining what you just said?

What happens in our culture today is that people imitate what other people do or say and in this case it is an imitation of what people say, although saying something is doing something. Some people use this form of talking because they think it is funny and it is true that it can be funny and not hurtful but sometimes it is hurtful and funny but people have a problem discerning which is which.

By "discerning" I mean understanding and by using the word "problem" I mean that I feel people who don't know the difference between funny and hurtful are stupid. By "stupid" I mean imbecilic and that, my friends, is hurtful (you see I just called readers my friends but you are not all truly friends or you would have shown up for the funeral of my wife).

All in all, people tend to talk before they think and that makes conversation unreliable and dishonest and useless. There, I said it - useless. Why do we talk to one another at all about things we feel? We could just lie and not qualify the lie and go on our merry way.

By "merry way" I mean the tough, miserable and depressing lives we all secretly lead.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.