Column Chronicles: The life and times of a rodeo clown, part nine

The life and times of a rodeo clown, part nine

Frank Cotolo
July 7, 2016

My job as a rodeo clown working for The Rootin' Tootin' Wildcat Rope and Revolver Rodeo made me wonder about my future as I entered my umpteenth year with the traveling show.

"What am I gonna do with my life?" I asked Murky The Clown one day which turned out to be his first day working at The Rootin' Tootin' Wildcat Rope and Revolver Rodeo.

"You have been with the show umpteen years," Murky said. "Why would you think of leaving now?"

"Because," I said, "I dunno how long is umpteen. At my last birthday party three of the old cowpokes just made up a number to put on the cake."

"We get custom cakes on our birthdays working here?"

"I think I ought to settle down somewhere," I said.

"What would you do?"

"Maybe there's a small town in some lightly populated state that could use a good rodeo clown, one that was always around."

I thought for months about leaving, while traveling through many more states with the rodeo. Murky only lasted two months. He left when he realized he had a knack for brain surgery. It turned out he was correct and within a few more months he opened a clinic in San Antonio, Texas. He sent me his business card and a discount coupon in case I ever needed brain surgery.

There was an old saying and I imagine it is becoming older by the day and to on one's surprise it is only uttered by rodeo clowns. I heard it first from Sid Sidewinder, the first rodeo clown to carry a stuffed monkey's liver in his costume while performing.

"Once you get roped into becomin' a rodeo clown," Sid said, "they tie a knot in you that keeps you a slave..."

There was more to the saying but no one memorized the rest of it. But I knew I had to sever the rope that kept me from leaving. Something in my heart and another thing in my soul and all of the dreams I was having every night of my life indicated that I could not continue being a rodeo clown. I had to find another occupation, the kind where birthday cakes display an exact age. So, as the The Rootin' Tootin' Wildcat Rope and Revolver Rodeo made another swing through the northeast or the southwest or the southeast, I concentrated on my future.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.