Column Chronicles: Predictions for 2018

Predictions for 2018

Frank Cotolo
December 14, 2017

I'm not always correct but I have a very good average for predicting major events that will happen in the year following the year we are ending soon. So, as 2017 nears its conclusion, I am documenting various forecasts for events to take place in 2018.

The phrase "No man is an island" will no longer be used when a man is floating in the Pacific Ocean is added to maps of the area.

Fast food restaurants will ban foods without nutrients.

Chinese leaders talk about turning Hong Kong into an amusement park.

Robert DeNiro will play Albert Einstein in a movie.

A seventeen year old boxer from The Bronx in New York City will win the heavyweight championship of the world with a single punch that he claims he bought from a vendor in front of Yankee Stadium.

Major League Baseball umpires will go on strike but the season will continue without using umpires and the first game in the history of the sport will end with the score Mets 103-Phillies 98.

Vietnam will go to war with itself and lose.

Four men wearing only expensive casual button-down shirts will climb the highest mountain in the world and make it to the top.

A zebra will be cloned but his stripes will spell out the word "concubine."

Actor Jon Voight will be elected governor of Wyoming.

Greece will begin to auction some of its ancient ruins in order not to default.

The HBO cable channel will begin a new policy never to play the same movie twice. Subscriptions will soar.

Comedian Jerry Seinfeld will choke comedian Bill Maher to death.

A group of nerds will form a virtual country that exports video games and is bombed into oblivion by North Korea.

The Superbowl will not be played for reasons yet to be predicted.

A member of British Parliament will be forced to resign when it is discovered that he only speaks Italian.

The state of Alabama will pass a law making it illegal to give a pet dog a name with more than three letters.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.