Column Chronicles: Know if your partner is taking advantage of you

Know if your partner is taking advantage of you

Frank Cotolo
February 8, 2017

If you are in a monogamous relationship, there can be a terrible imbalance that needs to be recognized. A breakup is on the horizon if one of you doesn't see when the other is not holding his or her end up - so to speak.

But how do you know for sure if your partner is taking advantage of you? How can you tell if you aren't getting all you need out of the relationship and he or she is entirely satisfied that way?

We have found some ways for you to recognize this awful state so that you may face him or her and either work out the details or begin a sound and healthy separation.

Do you find yourself making excuses for your partner when he or she does not define a commitment? If your partner says things like, "Let's talk about getting into my Will next year," and you say, "I understand you are very busy making millions and that is a lot of stress," then he or she is taking advantage of you. Tell him to man up or her to woman up and get nail down the relationship.

Does your partner have a friend that he or she seems to talk about, stay with and takes to the Ice Capades? You should be the center of his or her attention, not another person. Your partner is taking advantage of you if he or she feels it is more important to spend time helping another person balance his or her checkbook. As well, has he or she given Power of Attorney to that other person? You are being used if any of this is true.

Does your partner seem perfect when you are with he or she and then when you are among friends, strangers or customers in a store he or she seems moronic, unpleasant, annoying and rude? This is a very bad sign. He or she is most likely giving you hints that you are worthless by comparison to everyone else in the world.

When you ask your partner to do something with you, does he or she say things like, "That is not important," or "Why would any human do such a thing?" Or even "Maybe some other time, I'm too busy." Not spending time with you because you want to do something and always having time for what the partner wants to do (but never inviting you) means the relationship is dangerously one-sided and you are a puppet.

Lastly, does your partner love your car, your highway pass, your magazine subscriptions, your espresso machine, your this and your that? Does your partner own anything that belongs to him or her alone? If so, are you allowed to touch it? This should be the last straw. Sharing is a part of a relationship, especially when it comes to material items. The good stuff as well as the bad stuff should be valued and used by both members of the relationship.

If any of the above is identifiable in your relationship, take action. If all of the above is identifiable, go out for a pack of cigarettes and never come back.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.