Column Chronicles: Plans to marry should address concerns

Plans to marry should address concerns

Frank Cotolo
May 10, 2018

Recently, a survey taken by survey-takers released a list of "nagging concerns" people have if they are deciding upon marriage. Some of these concerns may surprise you and lead to an investigation of your nuptial plans. Please read these concerns carefully.

Your partner's temper is an issue, especially if he or she is screaming at you about minor things, like how you walk, talk or think. It is normal to feel and show anger; it is not normal to do so while throwing objects - especially in your direction. Your partner may blame others for his or her temper but that's just because your partner is too scared to yell and toss things at the person truly making him or her angry. Deal with it.

Become concerned if you notice your fiancé is selfish. If your going-to-be spouse is showing more interest in self-gratification than giving and taking, or more taking than giving, or if he or she out and out ignores what you want to do, say, eat or go, pause and rethink the union. Mature people don't have to be reminded about giving and taking. A selfish person whines and kicks furniture when he or she doesn't get their way or when they blatantly call you an idiot for wanting to share something you like. Deal with it. Of course, if the give and take has to do with a love for firearms, just cancel the wedding.

If your upcoming marriage includes a spouse that has an addiction, step on the breaks. Addictions of all kinds are signs of a failed marriage. Being addicted to anything will only become more intense after you hang a ball and chain on the addicted person's desires. Psychologists agree that addiction is an illness and it corrupts what is left of a personality if it is untreated. This includes if your future husband or wife is addicted to something or many things about you. If, for instance, he or she says, "I can't get enough of your toes in my mouth, I love your toes, just your toes, no one else's toes," you can be sure that your toes will not satisfy the toes addiction. Danger looms, so deal with it.

Lastly, if you are in a relationship and planning marriage to someone who cannot handle money, run for the hills because he or she will financially ruin you and that will lead to debt and sorrow until the day you die - if you stay together. There is, however, no reason to get together if you realize he or she is rotten with the dollar and careless with the change. Money is the number one reason married people have financial problems and divorce becomes a trial or goes to trial for that matter. Deal with it.

Being alert and awake and dumping your possible lifetime mate due to these problems, unless you can work them out (and most of the time you can or cannot) will set up a happy life for your marriage, regardless of the enormously difficult odds to overcome concerning keeping a marriage together. Deal with it.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.