Column Chronicles: A trip to Mars takes a full committment

A trip to Mars takes a full committment

Frank Cotolo
May 17, 2018

I am always in great demand by organizations that call upon me to give inspiring talks to their members, associates, fundraisers and prospective supporters. Recently, I was invited to speak to a nationwide Mars Project audience. Here is the text of that speech.

Thank you for being here, even though I know you would all rather be in a space ship flying to Mars. So you think. And I am here to be a devil's advocate so you realize that taking a trip to Mars is something even more dangerous than committing to marriage.

At one time the idea of going to Mars was just a piece of science fiction. But in our advanced culture of technology, things have changed so much that it is possible to at least get started on such a trip. As for getting there and getting back, not so much.

You surely know that a trip to Mars will take a long time. You will be confined in a space ship for a long time and that will do strange things to your brain. If one of those strange things were to be that you didn't want to go to Mars anymore, you would be, at the very least, greatly disappointed you were on the trip when this thought came up.

You must all know that only a few people will go on the first trip to Mars. We don't know just yet, after all, how big a spaceship we need to send humans to Mars. I would think it should be large enough to carry a bunch of people, men and women, of course, and that it would allow bathroom privileges if one of the astronauts was a transgender.

However many people go on a spaceship, they had better like one another because fighting will be dangerous, and difficult, as the body is not so controllable without basic gravity. As well, there are no hospitals on the way to Mars, so becoming violent will be forbidden, no matter how angry you become with another person.

Seeing all of you who want to go makes me realize the competition is fierce. Of course most of you won't even qualify because a trip to Mars will severely test your mind and body. Practicing for that trip alone can kill you. It's something to think about. After all, the only thing worse than getting killed when you get to Mars is getting killed before you get to Mars.

Things can change by the time a spaceship for a Mars trip is actually built. Technology is improving so rapidly that maybe before it's time to shoot that Mars rocket to its mysterious destination, there will be ways to assure the passengers that they are safely on their way to a great adventure that will also see them return to Earth with new science ideas and medical breakthroughs and... and... well, who are we kidding, if you go, you are gone. So think about it.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.