Column Chronicles: International cities I warmly recall

International cities I warmly recall

Frank Cotolo
June 14, 2018

I have traveled to many places but I didn't like them all. There are cities in this world, however, where I have had great experiences that have warmed the cockles of my heart. Here are some thoughts on those cities.

One evening in Srinagar, Kashmir, I met a woman who invited me to dinner at a strange restaurant where the waiters sang local folk songs and the cook was Tasmanian. I made a great deal that week with a man who manufactured bicycle parts.

In Santa Ana, Costa Rica, the police impressed me. None of them carried revolvers and yet there was no crime anywhere in the city. One of the policemen gave me a tour of the city and pointed out all of the places where he had faced criminals and injured them severely with his bare hands.

There were three nights and four days in Kumara, New Zealand, when I lived in a kiosk. I loved seeing the sun rise and set from that quaint location owned by a 96-six-year-old woman who swore she was my mother.

So many people don't understand why The Hague is not just called Hague but one weekend in The Netherlands (which some people don't understand why it, too, has "The" in its name) a man from the outlands with a name that had no syllables told me the story of the The while we drank a local beer made from porcupine blood and I spent a lovely two days as drunk as I ever became in my entire life up until that point.

The old South was never more poignant than one night I spend in Savannah, Georgia with Miss Alabama. The beauty queen introduced me to her twin sisters who were twice as pretty as was she and the three of them performed ancient dances taught to them by the Native American lady from an tribe that became extinct in The Civil War. I wanted to marry all three of those women but they told me they were not a marrying package. Still, the night was magical.

I never would have thought I could love Villa de Merlo, Argentina, but when I met Pedro Morales I knew I was mistaken. He was a beautiful man and I had never been intimate with a man and cared not to ever be intimate with a man but Pedro introduced me to a tasteless potion that blinded a person to gender (and was chock full of Vitamin B) and we spent a night of pleasure in a bamboo hut during a rainstorm, bonding our bodies while finding ways to have orgasms with pears and berries. Pedro also taught me many vile words in Spanish, as well as the history of Villa de Merlo, which he claimed translated into English as "Have a lot of sex with men." Even though Pedro was found dead on the beach the next day and my fingerprints were all over a machete that had sliced off his hands, I will always think warmly of the time I spent in a city filled with adventure and whatever else happened to Pedro and I.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.