Column Chronicles: Ancient cvcv to visit

Ancient cvcv to visit

Frank Cotolo
August 9, 2018

Every year since the invention of the printing press, someone or other gets a biography of his or herself published. Although biographies are generally good selling products, the very successful ones have to make up for the hundreds of downright flops.

Even avid readers are unaware of some biographies that bombed shortly after their publications. It will never be established whether or not these books failed due to poor writing, poor promotion or poor advertising; the only thing they have in common that is awful is their titles. Here is a list of some published failures that began with high hopes for top sales.

FAT MYSTERIES AND NEVER-ENDING ENDINGS
Denson Macky's bio of Alfred Hitchcock

THERE IS A GOD, END OF STORY
Ron Still's bio of C.S. Lewis

I AM COCO, YOU ARE NUTS
Alice Bumgarden's bio of Coco Chanel

IT'S A DARBY NOT A DERBY
George Killabrand's bio of Winston Churchill

GROUCHO, CHICO, HARPO AND PLATO
Angus Pull's bio of Plato

LEO, CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING PLEASE
Victor Vigray's bio of Leonardo da Vinci

A FREUD OF THE DARK
Rob Willow's bio of Ray Charles

THE APPLE DOESN'T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE BUT IT ALWAYS FALLS
Frank Bluster's bio of Isaac Newton

FASTING TO FREEDOM
Cicely Sybury's bio of Mahatma Gandi

THE LONG AND THE SHORT OF WORLD DOMINATION
Francis Ford Bigsby's bio of Napolean Bonaparte

WHOSE PRESIDENCY IS THIS ANYWAY?
Geraldine Yokum's bio of Woodrow Wilson

HOPE HAS FEATHERS, SURE, BUT THE BIRD, BIRD, BIRD, THE BIRD IS THE WORD
Nancy Gipweather's bio of Emily Dickenson

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.