Column Chronicles: True signs you should get a divorce

True signs you should get a divorce

Frank Cotolo
October 25, 2018

Married people often deny that their relationships are cracking and unable to be saved and so they don't seek professional help. If you are married, read the following signs that indicate your marriage is hopeless and you need to stop being with one another; you need a divorce, at least according to the sources used to write this blog.

Are you stressed to the point that stress makes you physically ill? Then, while you are getting sick, does the very thought of seeing your spouse make your body ache and your muscles twinge? Sure, it could be a virus but it could also mean you need a divorce.

Women often talk about a single "deal breaker," one specific situation between her and her spouse that is a breach of the relationship's values. Perhaps your spouse has never told you that he is addicted to cat videos on YouTube or before you were married he was a circus clown or he talks to his mother more than he talks to you and she has been dead and buried for ten years.

Whatever the case, such breaches make it impossible for the woman to continue the marriage, which means you need a divorce.

The term "gaslighting" has become popular in the complicated emotional mixtures that are a marriage. To gaslight some one is to manipulate that person to gain power and control. A gaslighter questions his or her partner's feelings, minimizes their emotions and sometimes comments on how badly the spouse makes toast (often claiming that the spouse spreads the butter on the bread before putting it in the toaster). Victims of gaslighters begin to feel they are crazy and everything the gaslighter is saying is true. Eventually, the gaslighter will show up wearing a t-shirt with a huge "G" on the front and when the spouse asks what that stands for the gaslighter says, "What does what stand for?" This is a clear cut sign that a divorce is necessary.

Men, it is said, are hunters, while women, it is said, are nesters. Yet, there are men who are nesters and women who are hunters. Sometimes the roles reverse during a marriage. A man starts as a hunter but after a few years of marriage, begins to feel like nesting. Meanwhile, the woman, who began the marriage as a nester, was given to deep and uncontrollable feelings to hunt. The original hunter and original nester become confused when they change roles and things can become nasty. Then, there are hunters who become nesting hunters and nesters who become hunting nesters. If this happens there are actually four roles being played, two by each spouse, and it becomes complicated to communicate. None of the characters know for whom there is hunting and for whom there is nesting and it has been known to become violent when trying to sort it all out. If things become this intense, it is most assuredly time for a divorce.

Hope these examples help you some.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.