Column Chronicles: Francodamus forecasts, part four

Francodamus forecasts, part four

Frank Cotolo
December 6, 2018

As I wrote in part three, there are some times when a strange and glorious feeling goes through me and suddenly I spurt predictions and, in a hypnotic state of super-semi-consciousness, they are predictions of things to come. Luckily, there is always someone around to document what I say, thus, I present some of the recent predictions from that extra-perceptive being they call Francodamus...

There will come a time when wearing jeans that do not have tears and rips will become illegal in public. This will cause many injuries to the legs because of the exposure to the skin and because people are clumsy and often fall. The world of designer jeans will begin to change rapidly.

Classical music will come into favor again in the future to the point where it is the popular music of an entire generation. Youngsters by the droves will bring the harpsichord back as the most alluring instrument to learn and many guitar companies will begin to manufacture harpsichords over producing guitars. The franchise Guitar Center will become Harpsichord Center.

This will put a new spin on the concept of "Classic Rock," which will become "Classical Rock" and young harpsichord players will begin to wear Mozart-type wigs and the trend will affect all media, everywhere, with the exception of Newark, New Jersey.

I see a time when women decide they have had enough of men in every aspect and conventional marriage becomes deviant behavior.

A baby born in a bleak and dismal village in a tribe in an uncivilized region of the Amazon jungle will grow to become the world's most famous NASCAR driver.

Floods will wash through certain cities in certain American states and destroy homes. Still, no one will die, and all children will learn to swim whether they want to or not.

The color red will dominate the labels of all food products. It will be eons from now but as I see it, the sales of red-labeled food products will not suffer from the consistency of their displays.

Some time a long time from now, a strange vehicle will emerge from a garage in a European city and once it moves around in public it will become so popular that in a short time from the long time from now when this happens, everyone will be driving a vehicle like that.

Medicine will change so much in the years to come that it will be possible to take it along with the meals you eat at fast-food restaurants. Medicines will be on the menus at such eateries. You will still be required, however, to show a prescription for the medicine you wish to buy.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.