Column Chronicles: Ask Dr. Shrink - Frank Cotolo on 148.ca

Ask Dr. Shrink

Frank Cotolo
January 10, 2019

His name is still Wendell Pencilmark and he claims to be one of the best psychiatrists in the field today — and some think tomorrow. Wendell is known to as Dr. Shrink. He has agreed to answer questions people have sent him about their emotional problems and we continue to feature these Qs and As intermittently.

Q: I feel depressed and forlorn but I can't understand why I am more forlorn than depressed. Any idea why?

A: It has to do with your mother, who was probably more depressed than forlorn. You, being the object that depressed her, cannot stand being more depressed than forlorn because of that. You feel if you are more forlorn then you can get your mother's love at last.

Q: I'm a habitual addict. I make a habit of every addiction I get. What do I do about this?

A: By definition, acting in a habitual manner is an addiction in itself. You become addicted to your habits due to a repeated occurence in your life, which has to do with your mother, father and how they treated you when you displayed joy in doing anything. In other cases, I have seen women handle the problem by going into the nunnery. Men have tried that, too, but a nunnery won't accept a man.

Q: I was told that I was born with two heads and one of them was decapitated because there were laws against births like that. Is that why I have constantly had a feeling that my life is without purpose?

A: No. I'm very surprised, by the way, you believe a story about being born with two heads. That alone is a deep psychological problem that has to do with your mother or father.

Q: I learned recently that my mother was not in the room when she gave birth to me. This has tossed me into a whirlwind of emotions that are ruining my marriage. What do you make of it?

A: I don't know your age but I do know that many people have been born while their mothers were not in the delivery room. What is good about it is that most people who were born in that situation never go through a period of separation anxiety, simply because they were separated from their mothers when born, thus elevating any feeling that separation is something to be feared. These emotions you are feeling are, therefore, imagined, because your separation from your mother at birth was natural, as is birth itself. So next time you are feeling strange about the fact that your mother was not in the room when you were born, simply leave the room you are in at the time and feel how your emotions become balanced.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.