Column Chronicles
Mr. Relationship returns
Frank Cotolo
February 7, 2019
Yes, he is back. He is me, known as Mr. Relationship. With the title comes a great responsibility, since people in relationships have problems and always choose to ask Mr. Relationship about solving them. So, I am going to offer some questions people ask, along with the answers I give them to help in their relationships. Please be aware that no two relationships are alike but relationships are not snowflakes either.
Dear Mr. R --
My wife always tells me to shush when I start to explain how walking is the best exercise. It makes me mad and I become sick holding in my anger. What should I do?
Take a hike
Dear Mr. R --
If no man is an island, why is my boyfriend always surrounded by water?
Because some men are islands
Dear Mr. R --
When I became tired of trying to have relationships with women, I switched to trying to have relationships with men. Is this normal?
Actually, what is normal is the fact that you will soon grow tired of trying to have relationships with men, too, because normality demands conflict. In other words, you're screwed when it comes to having relationships once you can't do it with two sexes.
Dear Mr. R --
Is it a good thing if your wife-to-be has weekly bachelorette parties that include pole dancing, assorted recreational drugs, female strippers and strange men who dress like law enforcement officers?
If you can participate, it sounds like a great thing.
Dear Mr. R --
What's wrong with polygamy if you have two or three wives who get along perfectly?
Probably just the jail time.
Dear Mr. R --
Marriage seems out of step with modern society. I hear women are shying away from getting married, especially to men, and care more to progress with a strong profession that can support them on their own and perhaps make them rich and never marry. If this trend continues, will children become obsolete?
Modern science has made the role of a father in the act of having children nearly obsolete. But as long as there are sperm banks and men who love to masturbate, there will always be children because women are smart enough to find a way to have a lucrative professional life and children, whereas men will always just love to masturbate.
Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address:
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