Column Chronicles
 
Remarkable film ideas, part one
 
 
Frank Cotolo
February 21, 2019
 
Having a active personal history in stage, screen and film, I have accumulated volumes of pages briefly describing ideas for movies. They are timeless and may still be addressed by big and small filmmakers. Here are some of my film ideas (sans any titles) from three decades of notes.
 
The fall of Saigon is the backdrop of a drama centering around the history of rice.
 
A scientist copyrights a specific strand of D N A so he can breed humans that all look like Harry Connick, Jr.
 
After their circus goes out of business, a trapeze act is left homeless and, one by one, dies.
 
Two trombone players plan to make the instrument into a popular sex toy.
 
A governor forgets the state he represents and begins to pass laws anyway.
 
In America's old west, a wagon train suddenly develops the ability to travel at the speed of light.
 
A cartoon character comes to life when identical twins fart in a movie theater.
 
Two sisters arrange their brother's marriage to a woman wanted for indecent exposure.
 
An army of men in flannel shirts surrenders to an army of men in tanktops.
 
A high school marching band demands to be paid per step.
 
The daughter of a neighborhood dentist convinces her father to learn how to play Chess while using nitrous oxide.
 
Two teenage boys steal a car and try to drive from New York to California blindfolded.
 
Using supermarket coupons from newspapers, a young homeless man works to become the President of the United States.
 
Aliens come from outer space and destroy Earth's demanding use of starch, sugar and breakfast cereals.
 
The strange life story of Phineas Bargain, a man who became famous for selling items far cheaper than they were worth.
 
A man dresses like William Shakespeare in order to get the attention of a woman who speaks Danish on Sundays.
 
In a newly developed country, citizens begin to pray to a statue one of them built while sleeping through the first harvest, causing a violent rebellion and a threat that all men are not created equal.
 
Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.
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