Column Chronicles: Mr. Relationship returns, part two

Mr. Relationship returns, part two

Frank Cotolo
April 11, 2019

Yes, he is back with more exceptional advice. He is me, known as Mr. Relationship. This year, like last, the title comes a great responsibility, since people in relationships have problems and always choose to ask Mr. Relationship about solving them. So, I continue to offer the answers that prove to help. Please be aware that no two relationships are alike but relationships are not snowflakes either.

Dear Mr. R -- My wife of two decades is upset because she is going bald. She’s not fatally ill, she is simply losing her hair. This is making her edgy and moody and cranky. What should I do to tolerate it?

Buy three dogs. Name them Edgy, Moody and Cranky. If she finds this humorous, you can both laugh together about her hair loss.

Dear Mr. R -- Women and men are so different and yet a man in a relationship with another man can also have problems. Why?

Men suck at all relationships, that's why.

Dear Mr. R -- I am going with a girl who wants to get married but recently confessed to me that she has many STD issues. Should I marry her?

If you truly love her, sexual diseases should not matter, unless she got them from people other than you.

Dear Mr. R -- Can I marry a horse? Is it legal?

Forget about the legitimacy of marrying any kind of animal. Instead, if you want to be a couple, concentrate on the difficulty of living conditions.

Dear Mr. R -- Is it healthy if my husband talks in his sleep if what he says is copyrighted by someone else but him?

No. Have a heart-to-heart with your husband, preferably when he is awake, and impress upon him that sleep-talking material copyrighted by someone other than the person sleeping requires royalties and if the author of the work your husband is reciting should happen to mosey into your bedroom when your husband is asleep and reciting it, a lawsuit may be the result.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.