Column Chronicles: What is a pansexual?

What is a pansexual?

Frank Cotolo
April 25, 2019

It's hard to believe in this day and age that so many people are unaware of certain sexual identities. It is true, however. A recent survey revealed that two out of every six and sometimes eight out of every nine (or so) couldn't define "pansexual." And yet, it is one of the more popular sexual identities people are admitting is their chosen lifestyle.

Four out of every twelve and seven out of every forty-six people, according to another study, claim to be pansexual and fourteen percent of them couldn't define the term, either.

"Pansexual," says psychologist P. K. Oakfilter, "is a term that means a bisexual person is more than bi, being attracted to all of the other types identifying as alternative sexual types."

So, Oakfilter is saying that a pansexual could be attracted to a heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual or another pansexual, whereas a homosexual may only be attracted to another homosexual (the prefix homo is the key), meaning singular and including females, though they are called lesbians.

Dr. Rectus Fillonius adds, "If a pansexual is attracted to a lesbian, he or she is also attracted to a male homosexual because the male does not have a specific title, as do women homosexuals do, being called lesbians."

Pansexuality is not new, either. Sigmund Freud mentioned pansexual behavior as far back as 1917. At that time, notes Fillonius, there was a World War in progress.

Biographies of historic figures have recently been published using pansexual lifestyles, much to the chagrin of evangelist Franklin Graham. Among the noted pansexuals in the updated biographies are John Walker Cannonbolt, who invented the electronic sponge; Betty Slaughter, who invented the quickest way to kill a pig in a bacon factory; Elwood Raggedsmith, the man who discovered lead in gasoline; Billy Freight, the man who invented the train car design bearing his name; Deloris Smension, the woman responsible for the modern case for applicable lipstick; and Riley Seededroll, the baker who first cooked bread with seeds on top.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.