Column Chronicles: Failed biographies in print that were big disappointments

Failed biographies in print that were big disappointments

Frank Cotolo
June 6, 2019

Even avid readers are unaware of some biographies that bombed shortly after their publications. It will never be established whether or not these books failed due to poor writing, poor promotion or poor advertising; the only thing they have in common that is awful is their titles. Here is a list of some published failures that began with high hopes for top sales.

MELLENCAMP OR COUGAR? MAKE UP YOUR MIND
Dick Frent's bio of rock star John Melloncamp

LIGHTS OUT, TOMMY
Jacob Wills' account of the life and death of Thomas Edison

NERO AND ROME, A FIERY DUET
Harriet Scorn's bio of Roman emperor, Nero.

FROM FAME TO FATNESS
Uro Stifferelli's bio of acting great Marlon Brando

THE TRUTH BEHIND BULL
Yolanda Rellick's three-volume bio of Sitting Bull

A MICROPHONE, A SMILE, A UKELELE, A BIG AUDIENCE, AND HOW ARE YA, HOW ARE YA, HOW ARE YA?
Peter Von Wellhopper's bio of Arthur Godfrey

ESCAPE FROM ROPES, CHAINS AND LOTS OF THINGS
Oleo Margarine's bio of Houdini

BROADWAY BEFORE HIS STROKE
Elwina Standerguard's bio of Richard Rogers

THE MILLIONS OF THINGS WRONG WITH HOWARD HUGHES
Don Dillon's bio of Howard Hughes

STUCK ON YOU NUTRITIOUSLY
Telly Willard's bio of George Klunkmeyer, the inventor of edible glue

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.