Column Chronicles: Ask Dr. Shrink, two

Ask Dr. Shrink, two

Frank Cotolo
June 13, 2019

His name is still Wendell Pencilmark and he claims to be one of the best psychiatrists in the field today - and some think tomorrow. Wendell is known to as Dr. Shrink. He has agreed to answer questions people have sent him about their emotional problems and we continue to feature these Qs and As intermittently.

Q: Any time I get too close to a parking meter, I involuntarily urinate. What am I thinking?

A: You're thinking of pressure, the kind your father may have presented to you whenever you said you had to go to the bathroom while he was teaching you to drive.

Q: Often, and always at night, I think it is daytime. Yet, during the day, it sometimes becomes dark. Why is this?

A: It is probably because you had a trauma while you were a child being taught to tell time. Your teacher confused you and perhaps had a stutter, so while you tried to learn, your teacher passed on confusing information. Also, by now, that teacher has passed on.

Q: Classical music gets me angry and I am always on the edge of becoming violence. What may I do to correct this?

A: You probably never mastered learning to play an instrument when you were in your childhood phase of learning to play an instrument. You never accepted the failure and now when you hear classical music performed you resort to violence to punish yourself. Many classical composers resorted to violins to punish themselves. See the connection?

Q: I dream of shooting an entire barbershop quartet with an automatic rifle but the rifle does not shoot bullets, it shoots M&M candies but only the red, green and yellow ones and they all go into the mouths of the singers, who choke and disrobe. What is this all about?

A: I'll be honest with you; that is the most ridiculous dream I ever heard and I have no idea what to say but you are a very sick person.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.