Column Chronicles: The art of flirting, part one

The art of flirting, part one

Frank Cotolo
July 25, 2019

Women have a natural ability when it comes to flirting. Their very presence can flirt in the matters of how they dress and move. Women also enjoy flirting more than men, which brings us to the topic of men and flirting.

Men do not know how to flirt. It does not come naturally and sometimes it is impossible for men to learn to flirt. This is mostly because men want to get right to what they feel is the motivation to flirt, that is, men just want to have sex with women and the least work it takes to do so, the better.

Not all men feel this way. Studies of tens of thousands of men have resulted in two or three per thousand that not only can flirt but enjoy flirting. This rare breed of man usually has a number of traits.

First, he is insecure, thinking that flirting is substitutable for sex because deep down inside he feels he will never satisfy his partner.

Second, a good male flirt is existential or, as some philosophers have called it, stupid, because a good male flirt is somehow as satisfied flirting as he would be having sex.

Third, a good male flirt likes to flirt more than he likes the person with whom he flirts. Yes, this is also existential (or stupid) in that the very act of flirting is experienced as an art form, a theatrical talent, a behavioural skill.

Fourth, the good male flirt has more feminine properties than other men. Sometimes these properties can be physical, manifesting themselves into the form of breasts so big that women are jealous of them but not all women because not all women are as lured to big breasts as are men, especially men who don't care to or know how to flirt.

Fifth, the good male flirt never thinks twice or second-guesses his flirtatious actions. He thinks any form of flirting is a good form of flirting, staying confident with every move, although not every move affects the subject of the flirt. Men are, in general, either overconfident or lacking all form of confidence, which is a matter for an entirely different psychological study.

...to be continued.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.