Column Chronicles: Ask Dr. Shrink, three

Ask Dr. Shrink, three

Frank Cotolo
October 3, 2019

His name is still Wendell Pencilmark and he claims to be one of the best psychiatrists in the field today - and some think tomorrow. Wendell is known to as Dr. Shrink. He has agreed to answer questions people have sent him about their emotional problems and we continue to feature these Qs and As intermittently.

Q: The taste of suede is addictive to me. Why?

A: Sometime as a child you may have been caught in a rainstorm while walking with your mother and you felt as if your skin was ruined. So, you have become hopelessly addicted to the taste of suede, which is ruined when exposed to water.

Q: Every time my wife rides a bicycle I give into her requests that I grow a beard. Why?

A: Your father probably had a beard and your mother probably rode a bicycle. Or vice-versa.

Q: I have a bad sleeping problem. I don't sleep well. I wake in the middle of the night and I won’t go back to sleep. I eventually go back to sleep and then I awake before dawn and am unable to go back to sleep.

This happens every night and it is the way I have slept and not slept since my father left my mother when I was six, while I was sleeping. What happened?

A: Your father left my mother when I was six, while you were sleeping. Get over it.

Q: I love my wife of thirty years dearly but I can not for the life of me understand why my wife of thirty years is only twenty-two years old. Is this normal?

A: If you married her when she was negative eight-years-old, it would be normal.

Q: I like hats so much that I have a different one for every day of the year.

A: That is just sick.

Q: I woke up one day able to predict the names of hurricanes.

A: Some people wake up and brush their teeth, others wake up and go into the shower, still others awake and yawn. See the difference? Think about it.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.