Column Chronicles: Predictions for 2020

Predictions for 2020

Frank Cotolo
December 20, 2019

I'm not always correct but I have a very good average for predicting major events in the year following the year we are ending soon. So, as 2019 nears its conclusion, I am documenting various forecasts for events to take place in 2020.

The franchise-restaurant business will begin to collapse as people only order food from takeout food services via mobile devices. The few drive-in joints that continue to do business do so using money borrowed from loan sharks.

A greater percentage of college graduates will go into the loan sharking business.

A new medicine that does not require a patient to tell his or her doctor if they have had cancer before will become popular as it is sold over the counter.

International trade will come to a screeching halt for three months, two days, sixteen hours and forty seconds.

The most popular and prosperous actor of the year will rise from obscurity early in the year. His name will be Scrum Dumb Dickson.

Every city in America will attempt to start a Major League Baseball team.

Pakistan will go to war with Iran and then the two will join forces to go to war with Iraq and after five years of conflict they will all get too tired to fight and give up.

Italy will build a rocket claiming to have the power to fly to Mars. However, Mars will be renamed Centauri and shortly after its laungh, the Italian rocket will be lost in space.

Actor Christopher Walken will be elected governor of North Dakota.

Immigration laws in Great Britain will become so strict that even natural citizens will be denied entry.

Canada's majority party will become its minority party and a new political party will emerge to become the mid-majority-minority party until too many people join it and it becomes the majority party, making the former majority party the minority party and causing the minority party to disband.

There will be only two full moon evenings during the year, causing the Farmer's Almanac to end publishing forever.

A little girl aged seven, from a country yet to be established, will record an I.Q. of 6,234, forcing intelligence-quotient scorers to bow in servitude and devote their lives to her existence.

Happy New Year!

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.