Column Chronicles: Ask Dr. Shrink - Frank Cotolo on 148.ca

Ask Dr. Shrink

Frank Cotolo
January 9, 2020

His name is still Wendell Pencilmark and he claims to be one of the best psychiatrists in the field today - and some think tomorrow. Wendell is known to as Dr. Shrink. He has agreed to continue with one of our most popular features, documenting his answers to questions people have sent him about problems. Thus, we continue to feature these Qs and As intermittently.

Q: I do not eat potatoes since my DNA report found I have an ancestry deeply rooted in Ireland. Are the two connected?

A: It has to do with the Potato Famine in Ireland. Also called the Great Famine, the Irish Potato Famine, the Great Irish Famine, the Irish's Great Famine, the Carbs Catastrophe, the Potato Crop Failure Famine, the Years Without Potatos Famine and so on, many people born during its run from 1845 to 1849, were stricken sometime in their lives with a period of five years when they found eating potatoes gruesome. You are probably in those years of your life where you experience the aforementioned famine with a psychological bond to those who were in Ireland during the terrible years.

Q: My wife thinks I am having an affair with a mannequin in a local dress shop and refuses to accept my denial. What can I do?

A: Dare your wife to show proof to guide your innocent plea. Ask her if she has photos of you out to dinner with a mannequin, or if she has shards of plastic she found on your underwear that indicate you are having sex with a mannequin, or if she knows which store in the area where you live still employs mannequins, or if she can name two mannequin families that recently moved into the area. If she can produce any of that evidence, it is time you saw a shrink.

Q: I'm angry when I see a policeman wasting time directing traffic. I rant and rave about how the cop should be working to find criminals. Otherwise, I'm not an angry person. What's wrong?

A: Criminals drive cars. Perhaps the cops you see directing traffic are actually undercover as traffic cops while they are searching for criminals that drive. Think about it. Your anger may be misplaced.

Q: I have not slept in a month and I do not know why but it is affecting my favorite pastime, long distance running. What should I do?

A: Try sprints.

Q: My husband doesn't love me any more but doesn't love me any less, so I am confused about how much he loves me. Can I measure such a thing?

A: There is no equation for love. Affections are not mathematical. You, my good lady, are suffering from dissatisfaction. For anyone to love you at all represents the miracle of love itself.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.