Column Chronicles: World's worst comedian draws best crowds at live shows, part two

World's worst comedian draws best crowds at live shows, part two

Frank Cotolo
February 6, 2020

The phenomena of Emile Strep, voted three years in a row as the Worst Stand-Up Comedian Of Modern Times, is the hottest performance ticket in the U.S. right now. We met with him after one of his unfunny but extremely popular concerts during the sold out "Don't Laugh Tour."

US: Is this popularity everything you ever dreamed about?

EMILE: No. I always dreamed about toilet paper races that cured hemorrhoids. That was everything I dreamed about most the time.

US: Why do you think there is so much demand for a stand-up comedian that doesn't make people laugh at all?

EMILE: It's a sad world and clowns often don't satisfy people because they're stupid and smell like cabbage.

US: Are you going to do what other comedians who become popular do and go into acting? Maybe with a script you write yourself?

EMILE: I can act, so I don't think people will like that about me. There are lots of actors out there to satisfy people who like good actors. If I were as terrible at acting as I am at comedy, I would consider acting.

US: Do you have a girlfriend?

EMILE: I have two. One of them is ugly.

US: Really?

EMILE: No. That was one of my more popular humorless jokes.

US: You're making a lot of money on this new tour. What will you do with it all?

EMILE: I'll give some of it to worthless children and the rest I'll put in a bank account under someone else's name.

US: That sounds stupid.

EMILE: That was my second most popular humorless jokes. People love not laughing at it. They say it makes them calm. But, to answer a question you did not ask yet, yes.

US: What didn't I ask yet?

EMILE: Am I going to take this tour to Europe?

US: Right. Are you?

EMILE: I can't because someone showed a short video of a show on this tour and there was laughter from French people. So, knowing we'd bomb, we are going to stick to audiences that don't find me amusing at all.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.