Column Chronicles: My speech to the National Soup Association

My speech to the National Soup Association

Frank Cotolo
April 9, 2020

One of my many sideline jobs is public speaking. Recently, I was hired to give a speech to the National Soup Association (NSA), which met in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. I never knew there was an association dedicated to soup but I was plenty prepared to inspire its members. Here is the text of the speech.

Good evening. I am very proud to be addressing all of the soup lovers of the world because other than the worldwide institution of motherhood, soup is the most comforting companion.

Over the past two decades, we all know that the element of soup has been a discriminated element of lunches and dinners everywhere. And why? Certainly, soup can be considered a meal on its own, especially at all-you-can-eat restaurants. If it is juicy, hearty, hot and fresh, soup is a meal.

That is the slogan I propose to the NSA to promote soup around the world as a main dish. Let me say it again and then let's all shout it in unison. Ready? If it is juicy, hearty, hot and fresh, soup is a meal.

[CROWD RESPONDS]

Remember that and pass it on to your neighbors, friends, families and pets.

Another issue we need to address is how vending machine soups are giving soups a bad reputation. Let's face it, instant soups coming from machines are not of the quality soup should present. Granted, the price brings in an enormous profit margin, since vending machine soup costs four to five times what a serving would cost otherwise, but come on, vending machine soup does not meet the standard of our new slogan. Everyone together...

[CROWD RESPONDS] "If it is juicy, hearty, hot and fresh, soup is a meal."

So, we need to boycott vending machine soups, mostly instant, mostly unhealthy.

Let people everywhere know that soup is the most diverse food in the universe. Soup takes care of hunger and thirst. Soup can be ordinary or gourmet.

Let's pour it on, soup lovers, what do we say?

[CROWD RESPONDS] "If it is juicy, hearty, hot and fresh, soup is a meal."

[APPLAUSE]

Thank you and good day.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.