Column Chronicles: Francodamus forecasts the future yet again

Francodamus forecasts the future yet again

Frank Cotolo
April 23, 2020

As I wrote before, there are some times when a strange and glorious feeling goes through me and suddenly I spurt predictions and, in a hypnotic state of super-semi-consciousness, they are predictions of things to come. Luckily, there is always someone around to document what I say, thus, I present some of the recent predictions from that extra perceptive being called Francodamus...

If not in the near future, there will come a time when the electric toothbrush begins to malfunction all of the world, killing people every morning, and the machines will be banned.

A blond man will be born in a country distant from the country of your birth and this man will grow to be a scourge to all men distant from the country of your birth, therefore never affecting you for good or evil.

In the year 2345, terrorism will become legal.

Someday, a wave of semi-consciousness will flow through all people who enjoy Twitter and, oddly enough, all tweets will make sense.

Smartphones will soon get so smart they will carry around the people who use them.

Science in the year 2143 or sooner, will solve the problem of outer space by making it smaller and more available for travel.

I see the name Jones attached to great figures of the future. It is, in some great figures of the future, a family name and in other great figures of the future, a given name. This means there will at least one great figure of the future with the name Jones Jones.

Medical science will be so advanced in the far-off future, puss will no longer be able to exist.

In 2929, every civilized country on Earth will make root canals illegal.

A woman of fine quality and classy appearance will try to rule the world in 2745 without force, though she will use a nasty stare.

Next year, no one who wears a necktie to impress someone will impress anyone.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.