Column Chronicles: More King-sized thoughts

More King-sized thoughts

Frank Cotolo
May 28, 2020

After years of retirement, Larry King solely does infomercials on TV. His newspaper column is gone, in print and on line. I have been trying to convince publications that a King-like column, filled only with King's unique gems, could still be a winner. Here are more King-sized thoughts that honour Larry's journalistic jingo.

Sir Ben Kingsley is a great actor but he has been in a lot of movies that bombed simply because they are terrible.

Who could take Alex Trebek's place on Jeopardy when he retires and do you think he pays nine ninety-nine for life insurance?

Why is there a superhero called Black Panther when no panthers are black? Those are jaguars.

Speaking of superheroes, enough Spiderman, already.

Apple just came out with another iPhone model. How many iPhone models will there be? Can you imagine buying an iPhone 789?

If Walmart and Cosco merged, would the store be called Wallco or Cosmart?

Remember Tony The Tiger?

Ariana Grande is the only singer with a Starbucks size named after someone.

How about strip clubs where girls dance while a customer is online? She could do a laptop dance.

Producers should see to it that the next person to play James Bond is politically correct.

Can you name thirteen women porn stars? How about two?

Speaking of porn, does it stream on a hard disc?

Theatre groups do Shakespeare in the park but if there is a blackout in the city they will be doing Shakespeare in the dark.

I miss all of the actors who passed away so far this year and all of the actors who passed me by this year.

As a kid, I could always spell Mississippi but never pronounce it.

Have you noticed there is suddenly a shortage of gyms?

Say what you will about Lady Gaga but keep it to yourself.

Do people still weigh themselves in the morning?

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.