Column Chronicles: Francodamus is back with forecasts of things to come

Francodamus is back with forecasts of things to come

Frank Cotolo
July 16, 2020

As I wrote many times before, when a strange and glorious feeling goes through me I spurt predictions and, in a hypnotic state of super-semi-consciousness, they are predictions of things to come. Luckily, there is always someone around to document these forecasts, thus, I present some recent predictions from that extra-perceptive being called Francodamus...

A country not yet named will emerge to become the world's largest exporter of rubber bands.

There will be some other kind of person to get the attention of the world’s population and he will be different than those who came before to preach and teach peace. How different he will be is another prediction all together.

I see the number two, six, five, twenty-seven, one hundred thirteen, six again, eight, eighteen, thirty-two and even more numbers, that will play important roles in cultivating cures for insomnia.

Soon, if not later, brain surgery will be performed so well that surgeons will take the performances to Broadway in a star studded musical that will break all records.

The Abominable Snowman will sue his captors for the degrading adjective in his name. The furry creature will win the suit and forever be known as The Adorable Snowman.

In 2026, movies about superheroes will be banned in sixteen countries.

Human pain will disappear in the year 4743.

A woman of note will carry a child that becomes the father of the world’s only boy to be born holding a hockey puck.

It will be 2148 when mankind discovers the puss inside facial pimples is the cure for cancer when mixed in a toss salad and consumed.

A deep depression shall halt the manufacture of all adhesive tape as the year 3766 approaches.

It will become official that by the year 4500 any resemblance of a person to another person will require each resembling person to exchange identities until further notice.

In the near future, in fact as soon as the end of this sentence, I will awake from my current spell and forecast no more until the next spell.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.