Column Chronicles: Adventures in alien abductions, part one

Adventures in alien abductions, part one

Frank Cotolo
September 17, 2020

It is not just I. No, it is the case with hundreds of people all over the world, people who never believed in alien visitations, people who mocked people who claimed they saw spaceships from outer space and even urologists - aliens from distant planets have been to Earth and have had contact with humans.

I know because I am one of those people. Alien beings have made contact with me. At first, even I did not believe what was happening. But after the umpteenth time I was personally visited I believed it, all right, so much in fact that I knew the aliens visiting me by their first names.

I used to laugh at my friend Elbert when he told me that three aliens walked into his bedroom one night, picked him up with only their thumbs, placed him in a spaceship parked on his front lawn and took him to their planet for an unspecified amount of time.

"What did they do to you?" I said to Elbert, holding in my laughter.

"They examined me," Elbert said.

"How did they examine you?"

"With their fingers, which were long and slimy."

"Did they check your heart?"

"No. The three of them examined me through the backside using all of their fingers."

I could not hold in the laughter. Elbert was insulted and would never talk to me again.

Six months after that, on a windy, damp night in April, I awoke from a deep sleep, turned on my night table lamp and saw three figures looking at me from across the room. They were without garb, sinewy, greenish, tall and every appendage was long and hanging.

Thinking it was a joke, I said, "Question to all three: You have no genitals?"

One of them stepped forward and said, "That is the first thing anyone on Earth asks us. Humans are genital-crazy."

"You speak English."

"And thousands of other languages from this planet on, through the Vex Galaxy System."

"All the way out there, eh?" I laughed. "I guess you won't let me go back to sleep so I can get out of this dream."

"It is not a dream. We have come for you."

I looked deeply into the eyes of each. It was not a dream.

...to be continued.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.