Column Chronicles: Bonds, James Bonds of all types for the times

Bonds, James Bonds of all types for the times

Frank Cotolo
October 15, 2020

The profitable and perennial movie series featuring British spy James Bond will be going into its sixth decade. The franchise has survived more bad turns than a mountainside highway, as well as actors playing the main role. Still, it has rebooted more than once and well enough so that a few generations could support it.

Change is a part of keeping the franchise alive, and as times change, so will the very nature of James Bond. It was one thing to go beyond movies based, though loosely, on the books written by Ian Fleming, but now the character of James Bond must take on a whole new persona. Here are some considered alterations for Bond, as suggested by my sources familiar with the producers, for future film projects.

Bond is still British but he is a "little person". Being short and dangerous would add new physical challenges to the character for the "tall tales" of Bond films. One screenwriter suggests an actor with dwarfism could work and be a great marketing tool. A draft for a film featuring the dwarf Bond has the working title "The Long And Short Of It."

Bond is still British but he is of African-American descent and in his spare time is a classic soul music freak. The color component to the character, says one screenwriter, adds tension to any spy situation, as well as a James Brown-style swagger. A suggestion to use the original "Live and Let Die" story, reversing all of the New York City African-American characters with Mafia-type Caucasian Italian-American actors, is being considered. One title possibility is "James Bond, Live From The Apollo."

Bond is still British but he is of Oriental descent. A screenwriter working on a draft of this Bond alteration is pushing the Jackie Chan angle. An Asian with a British accent, says the writer, would be so very sexy and attract a huge international audience. The working title for this project is "All Spies Look Alike".

Lacking details, here is a list of some other fascinating suggestions.

Bond is still British but... he is one of two Siamese twins... he is a woman... he is a woman disguised as a man... he is a man fighting obesity... he is a woman fighting obesity... he is a hermaphrodite... he both Siamese twins... he is a pair of women Siamese twins... he is an African-American little person... he is The Elephant Man... he is a rare seven-foot Oriental...

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.