Column Chronicles: More movie sequels you will never see

More movie sequels you will never see

Frank Cotolo
December 3, 2020

My sources in Hollywood continue to tell me that there are many movie sequels that have been already made but will never be released. Here is an exclusive list of more sequels that will probably sever the connection with my Hollywood sources forever. That is how much I adore you readers.

MORE STARS ARE BORN

Lady Gaga returns as a mentor for novice singers looking for fame, even though her character from the first film has retired from show business since losing her voice in a yodeling contest. Using sign language, she is still able to teach, as well as she can "sing" lyrics using her hands.

MARY POPPINS III; The British Empire Strikes Out

In the final part of the Mary Poppins trilogy, after her return in part two, Mary is kidnapped by a rogue band of chimney sweeps. They demand a large ransom from the family employing Mary but the family is destitute, like the rest of Britain, due to Brexit. Since you will never see this there is no reason to offer a spoiler alert - Mary Poppins is decapitated in the final scenes.

VICE II; Dick On Deck

Taking the Dick Cheney character into a fictional world, the former VP becomes the admiral of a navy he creates with oil money ciphered from the government of Iraq. Cheney, in full navy regalia most of the movie, sails around the world making creepy deals with governments to develop and armada that he will convince President Trump can also sail on land.

IF BEALE STREET COULD WALK

In the second film using the Beale Street brand, director Barry Jenkins sets the stage for a romance between a young girl and a young guy who have one thing in common - neither has legs. In order to maintain their relationship, they must defy the cruel discrimination from people with legs.

THE FAVOURITE II; Dead Ducks

Queen Ann, still in power after England's war with France, decrees duck racing a gambling sport, which enables duck-race trainers to concoct all sorts of duck-race fixing. Queen Ann does not believe the races are being fixed until a few ducks die during events; then she must campaign to clean the sport so as to save it.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.