Column Chronicles: The writing life for a down-and-out writer living it, part one

The writing life for a down-and-out writer living it, part one

Frank Cotolo
December 10, 2020

The attention span of the masses is flimsy, so few will remember the flash-fame of K.P. Swell. Sometime ago, Swell was the talk of many towns when his first novel was released and devoured by readers. It was translated into all languages on Earth; it was the only novel ever to be translated into a vague tongue spoken by two tribes in the Amazon Jungle.

Swell's novel was titled "Orbach". It was a simple story about a middle class man whose quirky behavior was rejected by mankind. Critics went wild. The book sold zillions and was still bootlegged.

Swell kept a low profile, refusing to promote the book in public or in private. His photo was not printed on any of the book's editions and he used different names in which to get mail, telephone calls, file taxes, own a driver's license, et cetera.

The publisher of "Orbach" anxiously awaited a second book from Swell, but it was never written. Swell's publisher tired of waiting and the reading public abandoned hope of another book; they quickly found fresh literary heroes.

For the decade after "Orbach" was released, Swell was rumored to be living many places. A small group of loyal readers made him a cult figure, spreading tales that were never proven. One such tale had Swell joining a vagrant Native American tribe until the tribe went into the casino business. Another tale claimed Swell had found means to live in the ear of Teddy Roosevelt's head on Mount Rushmore.

Swell was not found to be anywhere until recently, when someone spotted him chewing on a burger on Hollywood Boulevard in California.

"I knew what he looked like," said Swell's long time fan Lee Justinbutter, "and I cannot tell you why or I’ll be arrested. I was not looking for him at the time. I walked up to him and was surprised when he admitted his identity. I bought him a coke refill and we talked. I told him I would never tell anyone about our conversation or where it took place, so he agreed to talk. What follows is a transcript of our discussion, which is probably the first interview and will be the last public record of his existence. Thanks for the check, by the way, I needed the money."

Having far less integrity than we have curiosity, part two of this blog includes the K.P. Swell interview conducted by Lee Justinbutter.

To be continued...

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.