Column Chronicles: The writing life for a down-and-out writer living it, part two

The writing life for a down-and-out writer living it, part two

Frank Cotolo
December 17, 2020

As introduced in part one, here is the transcript of the K.P. Swell interview conducted by Lee Justinbutter in Hollywood, California.

LEE: Where you been?

SWELL: Here and there.

L: You like it better here or there?

S: Now and then here, here and now there.

L: You writing?

S: Always.

L: Another book?

S: Maybe. Right now it's just a sentence.

L: It's got to be way more sentences, like your only book. That book had so many sentences. And good ones.

S: Thanks. I got lucky. A guy gets some luck, he puts together some sentences and stays lucky, putting together more sentences. Then one day he runs out of luck.

L: That's why there was never a book to follow "Orbach", your best selling classic, iconic masterpiece?

S: That's a good description. And yes. I ran out of luck and I will tell you why I ran out of luck.

L: Please do. Remember, no one will see this, so whatever you say is between you and me and the rest of the burger in your plate. You going to finish that?

S: No, you can have it.

L: Thanks. Now tell us, I mean me, why you ran out of luck.

S: The writing life is fickle. A writer writes or spends time thinking about writing or thinking about not writing or writing a grocery list or a letter, or the writer eats or bathes or takes a walk or has a sandwich or goes potty. All sorts of things that aren't writing what a writer should write. That, sadly, is a writer's life. Lonely. Sad. Empty. Poor. Writing is hard, it makes a writer look deep into things that matter, don't matter, will matter and never mattered. It causes anxiety, nausea, dizziness, diarrhea, dysentery, all sorts of D-letter things. You lose when you write; you lose lovers, friends, family, pets, gloves, car keys, courage, cooking tips and more. When you aren't writing you're walking, pacing, trotting, sprinting, crawling. Luck is nowhere to be found. It's a tarnished mistress, a reckless whore, a hellish harlot, a slut, a slime, a concubine, a cheap waitress with dreams of..."

Justinbutter said he was so bored at that point he turned off the recorder and left K.P. Swell alone. Justinbutter did, however, take the remainder of Swell's burger with him to eat later.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.