Column Chronicles: Rejected thoughts from famous authors

Rejected thoughts from famous authors

Frank Cotolo
August 26, 2021

Many very famous authors are responsible for speaking words of wisdom. However, they also delivered some true stinkers. Editors have purged the dumber ones but we have found some which we now reveal.

I believe in mermaids, their presence just makes sense to a bachelor like me. - Jules Verne

Screw Capote, I like to type. – Jack Kerouac

Bourbon, whiskey and rye; these are the real Three Stooges. - William Faulkner

A bush, a flower, dirt and a pond are no substitutes for any other three things on Earth. - Henry David Thoreau

It was, at first, a comedy, and his name was Dr. Jerkel. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Who’s afraid of me? - Virginia Woolf

I'm a stranger to myself, to my values, to my talents, to my very strangeness, and each time we meet, it is stranger than the time before, since I'm a stranger to myself, to my values, to my talents, to my very strangeness. - Albert Camus

A man is a monster with a bottle in one hand and a dead fish in another and anyone who says he is not that should feel the punctuation of my punch. - Ernest Hemingway

Individuality is the sole source of being uniquely separated from those who bundle beneath the crowds, if you catch my drift, which is mine alone. - Ayn Rand

Read my books and know that lmost anyone can be an author. - A. A. Milne

Everything I write, essentially stinks, but there are enough dumb readers to support it all. - Glenn Beck

A spy is a spy is a spy and it has all been done before I wrote about it, something I am sure about because I plagiarize myself. - James Patterson

In secret, though many of us were aware, the king wore the queen’s clothing. - Sir Walter Scott

It's not how we think; it's what we think and how we think about that. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Little towns really blow. - Sherwood Anderson

In truth, all of my characters suck. - Bram Stoker

All men are assembled with the muscle of dead bodies, the remains of unused brains and still, they are all fairies. - Mary Shelly

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.